The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be great too).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong Learn More and involuntary , resulting in effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, well-being, and love .

However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that much of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often informative post it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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