The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to extremely hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, go to the website closeness, well-being, and love .

However when issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, states that many of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" advice For gay men specifically in urban locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Numerous gay guys desire to learn from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

However, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests i was reading this integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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