The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings tremendous significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and closeness .

When problems occur, those who fall into article the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that many of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in city locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

However, North includes, "I presume this is Continued a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not next there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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