The Sex Lure, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on check this site out the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and nearness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that many of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself browse around here is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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